First Woman Denied Same-Sex Divorce No Longer Patient

April 26, 2009 - PRLog -- Equality Rising

Like me, you may have noticed that in the last several weeks there has been much to read and hear concerning the civil rights matter of same-sex marriage, a certain harbinger of spring in the state of Rhode Island.  And just as spring will surely come, likewise our legislators will once more wring their hands over jurisdiction and dictionaries, looking for a way out of doing the right thing on behalf of Rhode Island’s gay and lesbian citizens.
   Froma Harrop, a nationally syndicated columnist, recently suggested that patience is a virtue when considering the road to gay marriage.  It’s easy to understand how Froma could reach this conclusion.  As a heterosexual woman she is automatically granted the full rights and responsibilities of marriage, as well as the thousands of federal and state protections that come with this institution. Thus, I have no patience with Froma’s argument. Like watching the proverbial pot of water come to boil, I have been kept waiting long enough.
     When the Senate Judiciary Committee held its hearing on the question in late February several hundred people came to listen and/or testify. It is a battle of wills to remain in the hearing room until midnight, and I was glad to see that at least half of the committee listened to the personal stories of individuals and families whose lives resemble those of their heterosexual counterparts… except, of course, for the absence of full civil rights.  As to where the missing public servants were I cannot say, though I question their ability to serve in full capacity while being MIA.
      Leo Blais, senator from Coventry (District 21) and equal marriage opponent year after year was there.  His bill, S0136 would prohibit marriage between two men or two women.  In his own defense he indicated that calls to his office were 23-1 against same-sex marriage.  Thus in submitting the bill he stated that he was, in fact, only doing the bidding of his constituents. Since it is still possible in Rhode Island to be ostracized, alienated, rejected at work, by your church or even at home, callers to Blais were likely those who had nothing to lose.  The semantics surrounding the definition of marriage versus constitutionally guaranteed rights is an endless one, but in my mind civil rights trump verbal sparring every time.  
       Change indeed is coming.  An editorial by retired associate Supreme Court justice Stephen J. Fortunato, Jr. opined that forces seeking “divine will” believe, without supporting evidence, that same-sex marriage will “denigrate and diminish the cultural vitality of heterosexual marriage.”   Further, he suggests that, “Legislators should think about this, as should the rest of us who are concerned about the rights and liberties of our neighbors.”
   I couldn’t agree more.  When gay and lesbian citizens of surrounding New England states, and as far away as Iowa, are being granted equal marriage rights it is only a matter of time for the inevitable to occur in Rhode Island. Until then, I am forever married to a woman I don’t love.  This reality begs the question; for just how long must we be denied, as Justice Fortunato so eloquently stated, an end to “the private anguish of those now treated as second-class.”?

In 2006, Cassandra Ormiston became the first woman sued by a same-sex partner for divorce and subsequently in 2007, the first woman denied a same-sex divorce by the RI Supreme Court (Chambers vs Ormiston). She resides in Providence and is an advocate for marriage equality.  Reach her at:  equalityrising@gmail.com.

# # #

Equality Rising speaks to equality issues related to same-sex couples. Founded by Cassandra Ormiston, the first woman to be sued for a same-sex divorce and to be denied a same-sex divorce, Equality Rising gives voice to civil rights matters related to the GLBT community.