Report: Warren Buffett in Felt-Related Death

March 13, 2010 - PRLog -- Key Biscayne, FL (March 13, 2010) – Omaha billionaire Warren Buffett drowned today off the shores of Key Biscayne , Florida, after accidentally plunging into the warm tropical waters of the bay while enjoying a much deserved respite aboard a secondhand  yacht.

Mr. Buffet was 79.

Buffet – who in recent years was consistently ranked by Forbes magazine as the nation’s wealthiest man – became famous late in life when he gave away much of his vast fortune to Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

According to authorities, Buffett tripped on the S.S. Berk’s slippery deck and fell overboard, plunging 200 feet into relatively calm waters.

Rescue workers said Buffett might have survived the plunge but for the fact that he was wearing a suit made almost entirely of a type of Sri Lankan felt that absorbs 100 times its weight in water.

The billionaire flailed desperately for a matter of mere seconds before the rapidly increasing weight of his highly absorbent suit pulled him under.

“We had been testing out a new look for Warren for Spring 2010, and we had both concluded that he looked best in felt,” said actress/designer Kristin Davis, who engineered a “fashion makeover” of the financial behemoth that rocked fashion runways  in 2008.

Davis had chosen the more absorbent Sri Lankan felt over competing felt from Bolivia because it gave Mr. Buffet “a fluffier look.”

According to reports, Davis had flown down to Key Biscayne to show Buffet some “new colors” she had recently discovered that she hoped he might add to his fashion palette for  Spring 2010. In a press release, Davis said she “felt bad” about the incident.

Davis most recently appeared in the hit film “Couples Retreat,” and will be seen next in “Sex and the City 2.”

Buffet had been “despondent” recently about unsuccessful investments in Irish banking and in an Austrian dessert sprinkle chain. But Buffet’s family denied that this had anything to do with his death, characterizing the death as “super accidental.”

Buffet is survived by sons Bert and Ernie and daughter Gretel.

Key Biscayne is the former site of President Richard M. Nixon’s Winter White House, razed in 2004.

Buffett's fortune went to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Prior to his passing, the billionaire pledged $1 million in matching funds to the cross-African bicycle ride of Britain's Adam Wolley, a ride undertaken to raise funds for the Malaria Consortium.

Mr. Wolley's goal had been to raise 10,000 pounds.