Know Your Optimism Gap

Sept. 29, 2010 - PRLog -- When a person completes the Dr. Russ Buss optimism self-assessment questionnaire they are asked questions about optimism across various domains or roles of life.  The first domain is one’s personal view outside of any given role; perception of self as a person in general.  In addition to this general role which might be equated with a “sense of self-worth,” we can take on an optimistic or pessimistic perspective in a variety of life’s roles.

These role domains include the view we have of ourselves in any of the following areas including: at work, in a career, being a student, playing a sport, communicating with a spouse, as family member, in social settings, and maintaining our health, fitness and wellness.

For example, an individual may operate very well in the “optimistic zone” at work, e.g., easily letting go of a negative and taking on failure as an opportunity to learn while focusing on “doing the next right thing.”  However when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle that same individual may get on the scale once a week, note the lack of weight loss, and say to him or herself, “What’s the point? I might as well eat whatever I want whenever I want. At least with a diet of chocolate and potato chips, I will be happier.”

Such gaps may be obvious to someone, but sometimes the gap exists in a blind spot.  A number of years ago I was working with a couple that was having some difficulties in their relationship.  Though not married, they were in a serious relationship and wanted to try to fix some interpersonal difficulties that had kept them from a formal engagement.  At one point, I was talking to them about the use of certain key listening and negotiation skills.  When I got done explaining what these skills were, they said: “Oh, we know all about those skills since we teach them to our business students.”  I said: “Then why aren’t you using these to help build your relationship.”  Incredibly, they said: “We never thought of that.”

Once they uncovered the blind spot, they were able to quickly close the gap in their relational optimism.

Another kind of gap is the “time gap.”  Sometimes, we might go a half day, a day or two or more “accentuating the positive, eliminating the negative, and not messin’ around at all with Mr. /Ms. In-Between.”  Then, we come upon a period of time whether for a few hours, days or more when we are gripped by that “sticky pessimism.”

I was recently quite encouraged to hear from someone who was learning to fine tune their optimism for each and every moment of the day.  She informed me she had been stuck in traffic on the interstate and when she saw the road sign that said: “Construction Next Four Miles,” she felt annoyed and irritated.  Then drawing upon her “moment-to-moment” optimism skills she realized how much better it would be if the road commission would write the sign this way: “Construction ends in four miles.”

Now it is time to take stock of your “optimism gaps.”  Make a list of four to six domains or roles of life that are currently important to you such as job, husband, father, networker, assistant Little League baseball coach, and living a healthy lifestyle.  Now, for each role ask yourself these five “optimism screener” questions:  Can I:

1) Let go of a negative in a few minutes,

2) Almost always focus on something controllable,

3) Stay in the “creative zone,

4) Be excited about trying out a new idea, and

5) Focus on the next step and not on how others will view success or failure.

To begin to learn how to bridge these “life role gaps” go to “Moment-to-Moment Optimism”  by clicking on http://www.drrussbuss.com.



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At Moment to Moment: Our mission is to teach "skilled optimism"- how let go of a negative in a moment; view life as one continuous learning curve with multiple "do-over" opportunities. Products include a daily blog, seminars, publications, speaking, radio show, & coaching.