Newlyweds’ Miscarriage Forces Change in Family Plans

Feb. 15, 2011 - PRLog -- Natural family planning (NFP) teaching couple Jessica and Bill Purtell of Villa Hills, Ky., felt well prepared when they got married, but some unexpected challenges changed their plans.

Some were small, like when Bill realized his towel folding techniques weren’t up to snuff. “I hadn’t lived with anyone before, so my towels started getting unfolded and refolded.” He said. “But I’m pretty laid back. I liked Jess then and I still like her now, and I’d been looking forward to being married to her.”

A bigger unexpected challenge came in the form of a positive pregnancy test within a week of their honeymoon. After the initial jolt, they embraced the pregnancy and began preparing for parenthood. But the pregnancy ended in miscarriage.

“We had started to look forward to the baby,” Jessica said. “That pregnancy definitely made us feel more open to having children, so we changed the plan. Several months later we decided to go ahead and try to conceive, and that definitely added a different dynamic in trying to figure out what our dreams and goals were.”

Now with four sons six and under – including the youngest, whose due date was the same as his oldest brother in heaven – the Purtells said they appreciate their early start on parenting.

“A lot of my friends are in their early 30s and just starting to have kids,” Bill said. “I may have sacrificed the cool, fun 20-something years, but I know what life is about. Now my friends are missing sleep in the middle of the night and relying on coffee to keep going, and I’m giving them advice.”

Too much biology

A major transition for newlyweds is getting accustomed to NFP, which the Purtells are profoundly grateful for. Bill took a while to warm up to the idea of tracking his wife’s reproductive cycle. “It was a little more biology than I cared to know at first,” he said.

On the other hand, Jessica, a trained engineer, embraced the data collection. “Eventually we had to adjust to a way that made me less of a gatekeeper and us more of a couple in that area,” she said. It’s a common adjustment among newlyweds, who learn in theory about mutual fertility and are then called to put it into practice.”

That begins with open discussion, Bill said. “NFP has given us great tools for communication and made us approach some pretty hefty issues upfront. Every month we have to address how to handle the fertile time, and we’ve built a lot of communication skills through that.”

“We’re definitely more serious about avoiding pregnancy at this point in our lives,” Jessica said. “It changes the discussions. But we’ve learned how to have all these discussions and apply them in a way that doesn’t make anyone resentful. You have to be willing to sit down and talk about it.”

Both admit that it took a couple of years to get the communication down to where they really could feel the benefits. “You don’t see it right away,” Jessica said. “You have to put in the work.”

“And trust that you are doing things now that will bear fruit later.” Bill added.

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The Purtells are a Teaching Couple of the Couple to Couple League (CCL). The above article is excerpted from the January-February 2011 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International. CCL is the leading organization providing Natural Family Planning (NFP) instruction in the United States.

Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning sponsored by the Couple to Couple League (CCL) are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northwest Indiana. Each series is taught in three classes. The next series will begin Sat., Feb. 26, 2011 at 1 p.m., at Prince of Peace Church, 135 S. Milwaukee, Lake Villa IL. The classes will be taught by Jonas and Elizabeth Hedsund.

Classes will also begin Fri., Mar. 4 at 7 p.m. at Holy Family Hospital, 100 North River Road, Des Plaines IL. The classes will be taught by Matthew and Anne McClure.

Another series of classes will begin Sat., Mar. 4 at 9 a.m. at St. Stephen Church,
17500 S 84th Avenue, Tinley Park IL. The classes will be taught by Jeffrey and Laura Watzke.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to CCL International at http://www.ccli.org, (800) 745-8252. Chicago area NFP information is at http://www.naturalfamilyplanningchicago.com.

The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, which is also taught via CylePRO software. Sign up for a membership with the Couple to Couple League International at www.ccli.org, and receive “Family Foundations.”

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The Couple to Couple League (CCL) is an international, Catholic, non-profit organization dedicated to teaching Natural Family Planning (NFP) to married and engaged couples. This news article is sponsored by the Chicago chapter of CCL International.