How Soon is Too Soon to Remarry after Losing a Spouse

ATLANTA - July 14, 2013 - PRLog -- There are many schools of thought on how soon a widow or widower should remarry after the loss of a spouse.   Some say, if the question has to be posed, it's likely too soon. But we live in a modern society, and women and men are both dating, and getting remarried again, after having lost their husbands or wives.  

Men Remarry Faster than Women

Some statistics indicate men tend to remarry faster than women. Males, on average, will remarry within two to three years after having lost a spouse; where females tend to tie the knot again within three to five years.

Social Acceptability of Moving On

Whether saying "I do" again soon  after the loss of a loved one is socially acceptable is speculative, at best. Often, the widow or widower will have to overcome opinions of, quite naturally, the children in the household.  But other family members, religious circles, and community members can also be grave barriers to individuals trying to find the courage and strength to move on after the hurt of a spouse's passing.

Is "Health" the Answer?

How soon is too soon to wed again? Love is an individual choice; there is no formula -- and there are no right or wrong answers.  

But, interestingly, some editorials do state individuals who remarry again after having lost a significant other are physically healthier than those who don't.  Chronic health problems have been cited as more common in those individuals who choose not to wed again.  

Toughest Opponent to a New Life

Ironically, the toughest opponent to a man or woman dating or remarrying again after the demise of a significant other will often be the widow or widower themselves. Why? Because of the fear of loving "and losing" again.  

Many times, the partner left behind will be emotionally stalled; not able to move forward. This can be in great part due to the anguish that comes with having lost someone with whom they've envisioned spending the rest of their lives.

Also, the guilt of loving again -- and the confusion of still having feelings for the spouse that has perished -- can present a unique set of challenges that must be overcome to successfully love again.  

In the short story romance series, "Loving a Texan from New Orleans (new release: Part 2, The Beginning of Forever)," an interracial romance novel, the characters Savannah Castillo and Hunter Wolf explore building a life together, after having both lost their spouses.  Not only do they worry about the impact on Hunter's daughters, but both the widow and the widower fear loving again after having lost life-long partners.  See http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Orleans-Beginning-Forever-ebook/dp/B00DWJPXJO/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373835632&sr=1-4.  

Common Experience Creates Bond

But the light at the end of the tunnel can be the common bond.  Many times the "commonality" of having lost a spouse, having traversed losing a soul mate, can create a unique bond that may ultimately contribute to everlasting love between a man and a woman who overcome the fear of loving again.

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For more information about the interracial romance novel, "Loving a Texan from New Orleans, Part 2, The Beginning of Forever" (a short story romance series), see Amazon or Barnes and Noble.  (Author Cassandra Black)