I have gone to the extremes of being everything I wasn’t in order to find out what I am

BOURNEMOUTH, U.K. - Oct. 27, 2015 - PRLog -- Debbie, 42, who works for a leading insurance company describes how at the age of 4 she realised that she was different when her teacher told her she couldn’t play with dolls as they were toys for girls. As a child Debbie loved to play dress up with her siblings and friends. Her dad was a bully and was often physically and verbally abusive towards Debbie if her ever caught her showing any kind of female tendencies, so she grew up living in fear and shame, which only made her feel more and more confused. Desperate to conform and please her dad she played a lot of sports.

Because of the shame, guilt and confusion Debbie overcompensated everything she did. She joined the army at 16 straight from school. She hated her experience during the army and lived in constant fear of being found out and bullied – the army was a man’s world and she saw firsthand how being gay or in any way not a ‘real’ man in the army was a definite no no. This was the early 1990’s and homosexuality was still illegal.

In 1998 Debbie met the woman who was later to become her wife. Debbie has never been attracted to men; she has always just associated herself as being a female. She told her wife to be about her cross dressing and described it as something ‘she used to do’.They were married in 2002 and in 2005 their daughter was born. During their marriage Debbie would dress up at home, but realised that she was kidding herself that this would be enough. Every time the makeup and clothes came off Debbie would become more and more moody, sullen and withdrawn – as if she was going through a grieving process.

By 2010 Debbie and her wife decided to end their marriage. Debbie is keen to stress that her ex wife has been amazingly supportive throughout her transition, and they continue to maintain a good relationship.

In 2011 Debbie met a new partner who gave her the encouragement and confidence to be who she wanted and needed to be. In July she moved to Bournemouth to start her new life as a woman, but due to a stressful housing situation, the breakdown of her relationship and not having any immediate support of friends and family Debbie became Bulimic and her weight dropped to 9 ½ stone.

In August 2012, after walking past a wig shop owned by Simone Thomas, in Westbourne, Bournemouth she finally plucked up the courage to go in. There she found a warm welcome and got tips on how to choose the right wig for her whilst growing her hair to give her the much needed confidence she craved. Being able to try different wigs until she found the one she loved the most was made fun by the staff. Debbie still visits the Crowning Glory team on a regular basis for hair services now her hair has grown.

She says of her experiences at the salon, “Simone and the entire team accepted me from day one as the person I wanted to be. I love going to the salon because they always give such great advice and always make me feel welcome. They treat me as the woman I am and I really couldn’t ask for any more! Now my hair has grown I no longer need to wear a wig, so I have been fitted with a volumizer which integrates with my own hair to give me the much needed volume on top. I can’t afford to have hair implants and this is the next best thing!”

Simone says, “It has been a pleasure having Debbie as a client and seeing her transition over the 3 years from a very shy person into the confident lady she is. If we have been able to help Debbie’s confidence during this time then that means we have done our job!”

Being a transgender person isn't easy. Debbie has experienced a lot of frustration and attributed the death of her father in 2008 as the catalyst to re evaluate her life and to see the importance of living her life in a way which makes her happy. One big regret is that her father died before she got a chance to sit down and talk to him about her true feelings. Her mothers’ reaction to her news has left her very hurt but she has resigned herself to the fact that she will never be accepted by her. Throughout the years she has had to keep her feminine side secret, and try to conform to what society expects. She feels that had she been accepted by her family right at the beginning then she probably would never have joined the army and got married. But now that she is older, she feels more confident about her gender identity and realises that all her experiences has made her the person she is today.


Debbie’s future plans include continuing hormone therapy and pursing surgical changes, which are necessary to allow her body to truly reflect who she is. She is currently writing a book about self acceptance and sees it as a semi autobiography. She is often invited to speak at corporate events as a Transgender Spokesperson and has been actively involved in writing and advising on transgender policies in the workplace. She says ‘I have gone to the extremes of being everything I wasn’t in order to find out what I am”.

For further information please visit www.crowninggloryhair.co.uk or call the salon on 01202 760003

Any press enquiries please email francesca@simonethomas.com