Valentines Day for Children: Teaching Kids to Lie Valentine Today…Enemy Tomorrow?

Feb. 2, 2011 - PRLog -- Melbourne, FL---Dr. Vicki Panaccione has officially put parents, teachers and the whole Valentines Day industry on notice for the way they present Valentines Day for children.   Instead of being used as an excuse to force children into loving feelings, Valentines Day is the perfect opportunity for parents to talk to their kids about the full range of emotions they have available to them, and an ideal time to create an environment in which their children can comfortably express those emotions.

It is unnatural to teach children that they must “love” everyone, even the class bully, every year when February 14th rolls around.  It is also unnatural to emphasize love and caring only one day out of the year.  Forcing kids to deny their feelings – and even to lie – to be “politically correct” can have serious consequences for their development, including pent up anger, harbored resentment, low self-esteem, inability to express emotions, to name a few.

As Dr. Vicki stated:  “All children start out being open and honest about their feelings.  It doesn’t take long, however, for parents, teachers and society to squelch their emotional honesty and begin to teach them that it’s not okay to feel the way they feel. (“Oh, you shouldn’t feel that way,” children are often told.  “That’s not nice.”)

Dr. Vicki went on to say:  “Adults often tell children that they don’t really feel the way they think they feel. (“You really didn’t mean that,” is often the follow-up to comments of criticism or disapproval.)  Gradually, kids learn that they can’t say what they mean, even though parents and other adults urge them to “use your words.”  Utimately, children learn they can’t be honest about their feelings.  Instead, kids are being taught to suppress, deny and even lie about the way they feel.”

Finally, Dr Vicki emphasized, “Valentines Day for children is a perfect time for allowing children this opportunity for self-expression.  And validating their feelings empowers them and prepares them for emotionally honest relationships in the future.”

Dr. Vicki has identified 10 key issues that parents should be mindful of when planning on celebrating Valentines Day for children.  Here are 5:

•   How parents (without even knowing it) are teaching their kids to lie about their feelings
•   What parents can do when their kids are expressing their feelings, even if they disagree or don’t like what their kids have to say
•   How parents can help kids express their feelings honestly while tempering their behavior
•   Using Valentines Day to explore the wide range of human emotion, and to help kids more clearly identify their feelings
•   The long-term dangers of having kids lie, deny or restrict emotional expression

These 5 tips are just a few of the ways in which parents can celebrate Valentines Day for children in a manner to teach their kids about emotional honesty and self-expression.

For more information, go to http://www.BetterParentingInstitute.com.

For media inquiries, to arrange for an interview or an expert quote, please contact Dr. Vicki Panaccione at 321-795-9218.

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About Dr. Vicki:

Dr. Vicki has 28 years of expertise treating children, teens and families. She has been called, “The World’s Expert in Parenting,” and “The Oprah Winfrey of Families.” She is an internationally recognized psychologist, speaker, parent coach, consultant, radio personality and best-selling author. She has written two award-winning books: What Kids Would Tell You…If Only You’d Ask! and Your Child’s Inner Brilliance…Parent Guide to Discovery.

Dr. Vicki is a much sought-after media expert, frequently quoted in publications such as The New York Times, Reader’s Digest, People, Parents, Life & Style, Woman’s Day and Family Circle and websites, including: Newsday, Good Housekeeping, Forbes, WebMD and iParenting . She is featured internationally on Heartbeat Radio for Women, on a weekly show titled: Kids are from Krypton; Parents are from Pluto and serves as parenting consultant for Nickelodeon’s website parentsconnect.com and parentalwisdom.com.