Are Parents Talking With Kids—or At Them?

Feb. 18, 2011 - PRLog -- Parents who think they are talking with kids are getting a wake up call:

Dr. Vicki Panaccione, child psychologist with the Better Parenting Institute, has announced that one of the biggest mistakes parents make is talking at their children rather than with them.  While parents want their kids to come and talk to them about anything, they are actually shutting down communication more than they know!

Melbourne, FL---Dr. Vicki Panaccione has officially put parents who think they are talking with kids on notice.  When kids try to talk to their parents, they are often met with anger, reprimand, ridicule, judgment and other reactions that immediately close down the opportunity for dialogue.

As Dr. Vicki stated:  “One of the laments I often hear from children is that they are resistant to tell their parents anything because they are afraid of getting in trouble!”

Dr. Vicki went on to say:  “Parents sincerely want their kids to be able to come to them with any problem, any situation and “tell them anything.”  However, what parents don’t understand is that they are not talking with kids…they are talking at them.  There is a big difference in responding to what a child has to say, vs. reacting with negative emotions.”

Dr. Vicki has identified 10 key factors that parents need to know when it comes to talking with kids.  Here are 3:


•   Listening is the key.
--It’s important that kids feel that you believe that what they have to say is important.
--Giving your undivided attention without multitasking will let kids know that you really want to hear what they have to say.
--Listening and responding is talking with kids; reacting is talking at them. Resist the urge to react.  Allow your kids to tell you things without fear of reprisals.  
•   Look at the situation from your kids’ perspective.
--Kids have their own point of view which may be very different from yours!
--Stay away from making assumptions.
--Remember that what they are sharing is how they perceive it to be.
--Seeing things from your kids’ perspectives increases the chance for understanding.
•   Thank them for sharing.
--If you want to keep talking with kids, then let them know you appreciate their coming and talking with you.
--This will go a long way in letting them feel that you really care about what they have to say.
--When kids feel that it was safe to come and talk with you about something, then you have a greater chance of having future opportunities for talking with kids.

These 3 tips are just a few of the ways in which parents can increase their chances of talking with kids, and insuring that the kids will feel safe to come and tell their parents anything.

For a copy of Dr. Vicki’s free ebook on the Top 10 Tips for Top 10 Parenting Issues, go to http://www.BetterParentingInstitute.com.

For media inquiries, to arrange for an interview or an expert quote, please contact Dr. Vicki Panaccione at 321-795-9218.

Dr. Vicki has over 28 years of experience in treating children, teens and families.  She has been called, “The World’s Expert in Parenting,” and “The Oprah Winfrey of Families.”  She is an internationally recognized psychologist, parenting authority, speaker, parent coach, media consultant, radio personality and best-selling author.  She has written two award-winning books: What Kids Would Tell You…If Only You’d Ask! and Your Child’s Inner Brilliance…Parent Guide to Discovery.

Dr. Vicki is a much sought-after media expert, frequently quoted in publications such as The New York Times, Reader’s Digest, People, Parents Magazine, Life & Style, Woman’s Day and Family Circle, as well as web sites, including: Newsday, Good Housekeeping, Forbes, WebMD, iParenting and lovetoknow.  She is featured internationally on Heartbeat Radio for Women, with a weekly show entitled, Kids are from Krypton; Parents are from Pluto.  Dr. Vicki serves as the parenting consultant for Nickelodeon’s website parentsconnect.com, parentalwisdom.com and is on the Advisory Board for Club Esteem and a Guild Member of The Haven for abused children.

She is a passionate and dedicated child psychologist committed to compassionate and connection between parents and kids.  Her mission:  
To help parents raise happy, successful kids…and enjoy the ride!

Dr. Vicki can be reached at www.betterparentinginstitute.com or 321-795-9218

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Better Parenting Insitute is an on-line resource center for parents looking to improve their parenting skills. Dr. Vicki Panaccione,child psychologist, parenting expert and chief contributor, has worked with kids, parents and families for over 25 yrs.