Ten High-Five Surprises in Marriage

Feb. 21, 2011 - PRLog -- Marriage has been sweet but surprising for newlyweds Stephanie and Peter Weinert, of Silver Spring, Md. We asked them to give us their biggest eye openers. Here are each of their “high-fives.”

Stephanie’s five

1.   Ease. After all the jokes about life after the honeymoon and bickering over toilet seats and toothpaste tubes, I thought we’d be in for a huge transition after the wedding – especially since we dated long distance. I think we were both shocked by how seamless the transition was. Preparing well in pre-Cana helped a lot.

2.   Kind words. I’d read that men primarily crave respect in a relationship and women desire love and admiration, so I was surprised how just a few encouraging words to my husband made such a profound impact on how much he felt loved.

3.   Loneliness. Marriage definitely involves a “leaving and cleaving” as the Bible says. The process of learning to rely, relate, converse and socialize primarily with my spouse versus my mom, sisters, and girlfriends (as I did as a single person) is a transition and can involve a strange type of grieving.

4.   Sacrifice. I knew natural family planning would be both a blessing and a burden in marriage, but I wasn’t prepared for the level of self sacrifice required with Natural Family Planning (NFP), on the part of both spouses. Our pre-Cana prep focused a bit too much on the rosy side of NFP without preparing me for the enormous patience and perseverance involved in something so worthwhile.

5.   Little things. I never imagined how much joy a married couple could find in doing simple things together like sharing a glass of wine and a book after dinner or playing a weekly Scrabble tournament.

Peter’s five

1.   Assumptions. My assumptions about Stephanie’s intentions influence everything. If I consistently and actively assume the best of her, even seemingly egregious offenses are sloughed off and quickly forgotten. If I interpret her actions in light of what I think would be best for me, though, I can wind up with grudges that stick.

2.   Leadership. People often think of leadership as being the one in charge or maybe leading by example. In marriage I’ve found that leadership is collaborative and participative. One of us will lead in one topic yet follow in another. And the specific topics have surprised me.

3.   Privacy. I thought privacy would potentially be an issue in marriage, but it’s amazing how quickly you become comfortable in the constant presence of another person, and thus privacy becomes redefined as a communal form. Sometimes this can cause a challenge with maintaining the boundaries between what is communally private and what is public, especially for an extravert.

4.   Time. It evaporates! I used to spend hours doing whatever I wanted. Now I find that a pile of minor, mundane tasks eliminate virtually all my free time on weekdays. The weekends become much more valuable, and you need to budget time more effectively.

5.   Money. I thought marriage would be expensive, but I was surprised by how far money goes with a little planning and with Steph’s ability to cut costs. Marriage is good for financial resilience!

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The above article is from the January-February 2011 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International. CCL is the leading organization providing Natural Family Planning (NFP) instruction in the United States.

Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning sponsored by the Couple to Couple League (CCL) are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northwest Indiana. Each series is taught in three classes. The beginning dates are below.

>> Sat., Feb. 26, 2011 at 1 p.m., at Prince of Peace Church, 135 S. Milwaukee, Lake Villa IL. The classes will be taught by Jonas and Elizabeth Hedsund.

>> Fri., Mar. 4, 2011 at 7 p.m. at Holy Family Hospital, 100 North River Road, Des Plaines IL. The classes will be taught by Matthew and Anne McClure.

>> Sat., Mar. 5, 2011 at 9 a.m. at St. Stephen Church,
17500 S 84th Avenue, Tinley Park IL. The classes will be taught by Jeffrey and Laura Watzke.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to CCL International at http://www.ccli.org, (800) 745-8252. Chicago area NFP information is at http://www.naturalfamilyplanningchicago.com.

The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, which is also taught via CylePRO software. Sign up for a membership with the Couple to Couple League International at www.ccli.org, and receive “Family Foundations.”

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The Couple to Couple League (CCL) is an international, Catholic, non-profit organization dedicated to teaching Natural Family Planning (NFP) to married and engaged couples. This news article is sponsored by the Chicago chapter of CCL International.