What’s Wrong With Living In The Past?

Dec. 19, 2015 - PRLog -- By Kenneth Stepp

Living in the past…. Is it really that bad? I say maybe not. I have spent the last year plus on self discovery. Not because I wasn’t able to meet “the one”. Because I wasn’t ready to meet her. It was me, not her. I have met so many amazing girls over the last three years. Yet none remain. Since taking the time to look under my hood so to speak. I’ve discovered that maybe, just maybe, our paths have crossed but I wasn’t the man I should have been when we met. Now I find myself in memory mode. And what a mode it is. When I saw me as the problem. It opened so many potential doors. for my future. Doors with prizes behind them.

“The lesson will always repeat itself, unless you see yourself as the problem–not others.” ― Shannon L. Alder

Why am I thinking in the past? Well, my past has had some pretty awesome people in it. Obviously I’m speaking of girls I’ve met along the way. I really have been blessed. I have met and gotten to know some very impressive people on my journey. Some, way out of my league. Some still out there on the battle line. Many I have become wonderful friends with. Some friends I wish I could attract as much more than friends. But, like in most situations, I’ll take what I can get. What I do know is that I am very near being the best man I can be and the best man I can present to another. Honestly. There is a very serious side of me that would welcome a do over with a few highlights from my past. The gentleman in me refuses to mention names. The romantic in me hopes they will know who they are. In case you were wondering. I’d give anything to place a smiley face right here….. I do have hope for the future. I just wish I knew where she was. Do I know her? Or will I know her?

“‎You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ― Jan Glidewell

When I was married, my identity wasn’t in my wife. It was in my wife and myself. When my marriage ended, my identity did as well. I was no longer an “us”. How do I understand being a “me”? Well, that’s been the problem all along. I was now single. No longer part of a whole. I was the whole. And I was awful at it. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that. So, I jumped right into a relationship, right out of the proverbial gate. As you can guess, that ended in heartache. I would be dishonest if I said that one didn’t still linger in my heart. I’m told because it was my rebound relationship. In my heart I know it isn’t that at all. Just another “thing” I deal with. There seems to be so many of those on this journey.

“Letting go doesn’t just mean letting go of the past, but letting go of an unknown future; and embracing NOW.” ― Michelle Cruz-Rosado

Letting go of an unknown future. EUREKA!!! Does that ever ring a bell for me. Every future is unknown. All of the things I fantasized about for the last 2.5 years have been a huge maybe. Yet it has filled my mind. More than filled my mind. Captured my heart, mind, emotions, and any hope I may have had for forever. Does this make me a crazy person? I don’t think it does. I believe it just proves I am human. And that’s not so bad…..

“Time that is spent dwelling on the past will surely continue in your present moment – and the future.” ― Michelle Cruz-Rosado

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