The 5 limiting beliefs about what you should do after heartbreak by life coach and grief specialist

LITTLE ASTON, SHENSTONE, SUTTON COLDFIELD, U.K. - April 4, 2017 - PRLog -- Sign Number 1

You feel 'numb' inside. Lack of joy for a prolonged period of time is a sure fire way of knowing there is also some deeper issues at hand. Of course, we would expect a lack of joy after a sudden death or expected death in the family or a major health issue or other loss. I am not talking about the normal experiences after these type of events. I am talking about a prolonged inner sense that you cannot feel anymore and that life is dreary and useless. You may not like admitting it to yourself or others but you know it's there - that feeling of being numb inside and life is not feeling joyous in any way.

Sign number 2

You avoid going out or socialising too much. Isolating yourself and spending too much time on your own is not a healthy place to reside in. If you prefer to be at home or on your own rather than going out with friends or loved ones periodically, this could be a sign that you are grieving. Of course there is nothing wrong with spending time alone, that is much needed at times but if you are healthy then socialising is a welcome and needed recreation that is a part of a healthy lifestyle. When we are grieving or trying to deal with an issue of loss, we have learnt to try and deal with this on our own. This is part of societies teaching. As well as this being incorrect, it also means we are holding on to our emotions and part shutting ourselves down. Both of these are not good news for our body or our mind.

Sign number 3

You spend a lot of your time and 'headspace' having conversations with someone in your past.Grief is a whole range of emotions and feelings. When we have gone through a loss we can spend a lot of time having 'mental chatter' about, to or with that person you are thinking of, whether it's an old boss, lover, child, parent or whoever. This chatter can be very exhausting and there is usually nothing positive to come out of it as the chatter is rarely over something good that has occurred.

Whatever event or loss it is that is causing this inner conversation it will be a grief issue. Letting go of the past is a crucial part of any good grief process. You cannot be happy living in the past.

Sign number 4

You are angry. Anger is a sure sign of grief. (We have explosive anger and silent anger and sulking. AKA passive aggression.) Anger can be in and of itself very distracting. 'Anger is an energy' as perfectly expressed by a 70s punk rock band. As long as you are angry you are not feeling the actual loss event which is usually rather painful. It is easier to deal with the feelings around anger, justice and revenge rather than the the issues of hurt and the differing emotions of the loss event itself. Anger is used as a cover for grief.

Sign number 5

You are always busy doing something. Keeping busy is a cliche of grief. If you are always signing up for the next evening course or hobby class or are always working or doing something to fill every minute then I can practically guarantee you are grieving. We are told after a loss event 'to keep yourself busy' this is told to us in the hope that the feelings we have around the loss event will eventually subside in the midst of our 'busyness.' The distraction that 'being busy' poses is sometimes useful especially in the early days but not of we are only using this concept as a way of dealing with the loss and heartbreak as it won't.

What will happen is you will dig yourself deeper into distractions and that can be quickly followed by numbness and then exhaustion from 'being busy.' Neither of these will help you in your road to recovery from loss and pain.

If you would like help or more information on what to do after a loss please get in touch. I would love to help you. http://www.projectgrief.com Victoria :)