Eight Valentine's Day Tips For Parents Of Special Needs Children

NEW YORK - Feb. 14, 2019 - PRLog -- Sustaining a strong and fulfilling marriage or relationship while raising a son or daughter with a disability is no easy task. Managing all aspects of a child's daily living – including personal needs, school activities, therapy and medical appointments – can leave little time for oneself, much less a partner.

"Every relationship needs to be nurtured and cared for, but with all the challenges of raising a special needs child, it often seems impossible," said Deanna Picon, founder of Your Autism Coach, LLC and author of The Autism Parents' Guide To Reclaiming Your Life. Picon is also the recipient of the 2018 "Top Parental Advice Writer Award" by Autism Parenting Magazine. "With all the responsibilities and pressures, relationships are often put on the back burner, so it's important for couples to take care of each other."

Parents can apply these simple tips to have a wonderful Valentine's Day and throughout the year.

1. Give yourself permission to enjoy.  Keep in mind that it's perfectly okay for you and your spouse to make time for yourselves. Special needs parents may find themselves feeling guilty for a having a good time, even if it's only for a few hours. But there is no reason to feel bad; a bit of enjoyment is good for you and your whole family. Every couple needs some time alone together to reconnect and keep the emotional and communication bonds strong.

2. Schedule some couple time.  It can be as simple as planning "fun dates" for yourselves on a weekly or monthly basis. Write it on the calendar. Enter it in your cell phone. Hire a caregiver for a few hours or ask a good friend or family member to stay with your child. Go bowling or have a quick bite at a local restaurant. Participate in hobbies, activities and events you enjoy. Above all, when you're out together, do not discuss your child and/or children. Have a conversation about the two of you. It will probably be the first time you've done that in years.

3. Save for future fun.  Saving up for your next adventure can be almost as much fun as going there. You can buy a little bank, cover it in gift wrapping paper and label it "Good Times Bank." Put all your loose coins in it at the end of the day and watch your savings mount up. Use the extra cash to do or buy something you both enjoy.

4. Book a romantic getaway.  Many hotels and bed and breakfast inns offer affordable, weekend getaway packages for couples. They may feature a bottle of champagne in your room or breakfast in bed. Ask a family member or close friend (well in advance!) if they can watch your special needs child and/or other children for one or two days. Staying at your home, with familiar surroundings, will make it easier for your child.

5. Start fresh traditions.  Creating new routines can add a spark to your relationship. For example, write down simple and relaxing things such as "give me a back or foot massage with scented oils" on small pieces of paper or note cards and put them in a jar. Each week, take turns picking one out.

6. Appreciate each other.  Show your gratitude for all the wonderful or demanding things you are doing as partners and parents. Tell each other, "You're amazing. I'd be lost without you" every once in a while. It's always nice to hear compliments, especially from your partner. Take over a task if you can. This extra time will allow your partner to do something they enjoy but never have the time to. Thank each other for acts of kindness, such as letting you sleep late some mornings.

7. Keep the romantic fires burning.  Attention and affection for each other doesn't have to be reserved for just date nights and special occasions like Valentine's Day. A little extra effort on both sides can generate ongoing intimacy. A kiss goodnight, a gentle touch as you pass in the hall, a love message by e-mail or text. These little gestures can mean so much.

8. Surprise each other.  You don't have to wait for birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's or Father's Day to do something nice and special for your partner. Give him/her a balloon that says "You're Special" or "I Love You." Buy a small bouquet of flowers or something that your spouse wants like a DVD collection of favorite TV shows.

Your Autism Coach, LLC (http://www.yourautismcoach.com) provides personalized guidance, comprehensive support programs and seminars that address the concerns of parents of special needs children. Now on Twitter (@yourautismcoach), look for the latest parenting tips and advice from Deanna Picon. She shows parents how to overcome the challenges of raising a child with special needs, while building a rewarding life for themselves. Deanna is the recipient of the 2018 "Top Parental Advice Writer Award" by Autism Parenting Magazine.