Stumbling In The Dark, or Just Getting Old?

March 5, 2014 - PRLog -- By: Kenneth Step

I know. Weird title. But it is how it feels when you aren’t at all sure of so many things and still get up every morning to do life at the speed I do. Being single after twenty six years with the same person, four streams of income, and they all slow down to a drip at once, and moving to a new town like I recently did. It can be, well, stumbling in the dark works best.

I posted a picture of me at 35 years old with this article. Some days I still feel like that young man. Some days, not so much. It’s like living inside a surreal bubble. Some days I feel like Jim Carey when he did the movie “The Truman Show”. Everyone knows what he does not. Like there will at some point be a loudspeaker that bellows out “CUT”! Or, “That’s a wrap”! This is certainly not where I expected to be by this time in my life.

When I pass an empty building where a small business use to reside, sometimes I say it out loud, “Another dream died”. I often wonder if I passed myself on the street if I would say that about myself. Good question. Perhaps I am better at hiding the closed for lack of business sign better than those businesses. Or, maybe I just think I am. Life is one big mystery is all I am certain of. And it gets more mysterious every day to me.

Having answers has been my problem in this phase of my life. It seems that by the time I have an answer, someone has completely changed the question. So, I stumble on, trying to understand the impossible, and create on a canvas already too full. This was so much easier when I was young. It’s funny that I can feel young, energetic, creative, and even fearless. But those are fleeting now. They use to be my standards. Aging is not for the weak or maybe even not for those of us with great imagination, but have outgrown the skill to execute.

At any rate. The days come quicker, the nights get darker, and the will to get up and dust ourselves off seems less appealing every time. But what choice do we have? Working from home when business is slow can be a terrible time to rethink the last conversation you had with your high school counselor. I believe it’s time to run more ads, and market “me” a little bit more now. TTFN

k@kstepp.com